Your Unique Ideas are Your Gift to the World

By Julie Marie Rahm

This week I had the privilege of entertaining and informing listeners on radio stations around the U.S. and Canada about America's obsession with the Academy Awards. As the hosts and I spoke of the displays of wealth and glamour, it occurred to me that in our quest for wealth and security we often ignore our deepest desires. Our fears of disease and accidents drive us to look for jobs that provide health care benefits. Our beliefs that resources are scarce cause us to become employees who receive regular paychecks instead of entreprenueurs running our own businesses. Deep down we may want to be artists, stay-at-home-moms or dads, musicians, comedians, cabinet-makers, landscape architects, or inventors. And yet we are afraid to even try, because we are afraid we won't have the money and health care we need in an uncertain future. We may have an idea that everyone around us thinks is crazy. If we listen to "everyone", our idea remains only a thought. Unless someone else tunes into the frequency of our "idea thought" and creates something from it, the world misses out on what could have been something amazing.

What special gift is missing in the world, because we lack the confidence and faith to act on our ideas when only we understand our vision? How often do we let our need to know how we can accomplish something keep us from ever starting?

Allow me to challenge you today. Bring your spirit to life by acting on the idea that is in your heart. Take one step toward turning that idea into reality. If you have buried your ideas and visions so deeply inside yourself that you forgot you ever had them, bring them back by asking yourself what need you see in your community. What did you love or dream of as a child? When you do something that benefits people, money always comes. Forget about the how. Simply hold onto your vision and take one step every day toward fulfilling it. Keep your mind open to solutions from unexpected places. Be patient. Allow events to unfold without forcing them.

As you rediscover your ideas and visions, please share them with others through comments on this blog, or by e-mailing me through my website at http://mindsettoolbelt.com/ and allowing me to post them for you. Your story may just inspire the person who will cure the common cold! And, whatever happens in your day, you will respond to it more productively, because you are on your unique and special life path.

Marriage Problem or Customer Service Problem?

By Julie Marie Rahm

How many times have you vented at your spouse at the end of the day? When it happens often enough, you start to think you have a marriage problem. Most likely it's something else. See if this story sounds familiar to you.

One of my clients is a 35-year-old mom of a 10-month old daughter. She came to me, because her metaphorical "level" had tipped from a steady horizontal to nearly vertical toward the negative. She had feelings of resentment around the demands on her each day, and guilt around feeling that resentment. She feared that her marriage was crumbling around her.

When she described a typical day, her tasks included the care and feeding of her daughter (dressing, diaper-changing, bathing, feeding, playing, laundry, dishes, watching her at all times except when napping, walking...), taking her daughter to the doctor, waiting for the heat pump repairman, preparing dinner, keeping the house clean, ...I'm sure I'm leaving out some details, but you get the idea. On this particular day, the repairman said he would arrive between 9AM and 11AM. He arrived instead at 1:15PM. The doctor's appointment for the baby was at 1:30PM. For my client, frustration quickly turned to anger. She had difficulty getting the appointment for the baby in the first place and didn't know when it could be rescheduled. Cold winter temperatures meant the house needed heat, so the heat pump had to be repaired. How was she supposed to get both tasks done? The rest of her day went downhill from there. When her husband arrived home, she let him have it. Consequently, they thought they had a marriage problem.

What my client had was not a marriage problem, but a heating and cooling company customer service problem. The attitude of the repairman was not at all apologetic. His late arrival combined with his attitude triggered for my client every past memory and experience of people not keeping their word, disrespecting her, having more to do than she could get done, and being taken advantage of. We took out her metaphorical "utility knife" and cut the cord to those old experiences. We cut away the cumulative effects of all of those experiences and memories. Then, we created neutrality for her around repairmen showing up on time or not. The next time she experiences a similar moment, she will have only the feelings around that moment to deal with. Having neutrality around the issue enables her to have clear thinking and respond effectively.

We also discussed her feelings around the multiple tasks she handles each day. We talked about the importance of her tasks, and that her purpose is what she is doing in each moment. We cut away more of the cumulative effects of her experiences and memories until she became neutral to her daily routine. Now when something does not go as planned, she is equipped to handle it effectively. She finishes the day with plenty of energy and no longer feels she needs time to relax. The "little things" that are really the "big things" no longer deplete her energy.

Gaining mastery over the seemingly insignificant things in our days gives us mastery over ourselves and our lives. It gives us clarity and choices, peace and happiness.

Career Crisis or Something Else?

By Julie Marie Rahm

We humans have it all wrong. We have it upside down and backwards. What we think is significant is insignificant, and what we think is insignificant is HUGE! Ninety-nine percent of the time, what we think is troubling us is not really the problem. It's the little stuff that keeps us stuck. When our metaphorical "levels" let us know we are slipping into a negative place, it's time to pull out our metaphorical "flashlights" to shed light on the real situation.

Take our careers, for instance. We think we are in the wrong career or job when we really have a purpose problem. As I worked with one of my clients recently, she lamented about dreading going to work and being miserable while she was there. She actually felt guilty for those feelings as if she should be grateful for having a job when so many people are out of work. As we discussed her work days, we uncovered that she was dependent on external feedback to feel good. She needed acknowledgement and appreciation from her boss, which was not his style. Each time she completed a task and did not receive more than a grunt from him, it triggered years of feelings around being unappreciated and rejected that started in elementary school. She felt unimportant, like her efforts were wasted. And, it ruined not only the rest of her work day, but also her evening with her family.

Now that we had shed light on a real issue, we could deal with it. We took out her metaphorical "utility knife" and began to cut away the cord from the trigger of her boss' response to all of the past times she felt unappreciated and rejected. We simply eliminated the cumulative effects of those experiences and memories from her mind. When she thought of those times again she remembered them with neutrality, not negative emotion. The next time she delivered an assignment to her boss and received only a grunt in return, she was able to handle it well, because she had only that one moment of emotion to deal with. All of those past negative emotions no longer came flooding back, because we cut the cord and neutralized them.

Then we had a conversation about "purpose". We discussed that each task she did was her purpose. Whatever she was doing at any moment was her purpose in that moment. Her job was important to her company's success or her job would not exist. We used the "utility knife" again and eliminated the cumulative effects of her need for external feedback to make her feel good. In its place we strengthened her for self assurance of a job well done, and neutrality to receiving external feedback or not. Reaching neutrality around feedback provided her a choice - enjoying it when she got it, and being unphased when she didn't get it.

When she began her coaching sessions with me, she was ready to find a new line of work and look for a new job. Now, she enjoys her work days. And, her family enjoys her in the evenings.

Talking about what we think is our problem when it really isn't only exacerbates it. Developing the skills to find the real root of what tips our "levels" in the wrong direction and then eliminating that root permanently is the key to a peaceful and happy life, no matter what else is happening around us.

Creating What You Want Instead of What You Don't Want

By Julie Marie Rahm

As America's Mindset Mechanic, I talk about the metaphorical tools we all need in our toolbelts. When we have the tools ready we can instantly give ourselves a "mindset tune-up" when we need one.

How do you know when you need a mindset tune-up? You use your metaphorical "level". Your "level" is the most important tool, because it indicates when you are creating what you do not want. You are always creating. It is impossible to stop! When you are feeling anything negative, however, you are creating what you do not want. The reason that is true is because what you focus on grows. If you think about what you do not want you get more of what you do not want.


So, when your "level" is other than level, it's time for a tune-up. For instance, when you start feeling frustrated or impatient, your level dips down to one side. If your feelings become more negative, your level continues to dip. The moment you sense the dip, pause and notice the thought you were thinking. Then, simply think a better thought - any thought - as long as you believe it. The thought can be a different perspective on your previous thought, or you can switch subjects completely. The important thing is to stop thinking the thought that caused your "level" to dip.
 
Conversely, when you start feeling over-the-top excited, your level dips down to the other side. You may be thinking, "Isn't it good to be positive?". The answer is yes, unless you get caught up emotionally in something that may not serve you well. And, being overly excited can make you scary to others!
 
So remaining steady at either neutral or toward the positive keeps you creating in the direction you want to go. Write a list of 20 things you love that you can call on any time you need a better thought. The quicker you can redirect your thoughts to serve you (what I call developing your mind muscle), the more you will live the life you truly want and the happier you will be!

Finding Peace by Cooperating Instead of Competing

Today I want to share with you a lesson I learned from my good friend, Michael Combs. If you are striving to be productive, and if you want peace in the world around you...then you must ELIMINATE competition from your life. By observing your life, you may find that you have built a life that is full of competition. Pay special attention to words such as, "This is tough," or "I'm fighting my way through this." Likewise, pay special attention to thoughts that keep your mind in competition programming. "This is going to be a long road," or "I've got to work hard so that I can earn this income," are typical thoughts that can lead you toward a life of strains and struggles.


Start now cooperating with the world around you. Don't look at your world as being a difficult place to exist that always needs you to have your sword and shield raised high. Instead take a moment each day to analyze where you can become more cooperative.

How can you cooperate with the marketplace? How can you cooperative with fellow associates? How can you cooperate with family and friends? The weather? Your car? Your health? Look at as many areas as possible as you strive for balance and peace.

This is a good topic for journaling. Write down not only your observations, but what you can do to make your life easier. You will find that when you do things begin to fall into place and you begin to accelerate down the path of accomplishment.

Make the New Year New by Getting Your Spirit Back

By Julie Marie Rahm

Here we are at the beginning of another year, a symbolic fresh start. The new year brings reconnecting with old friends, celebrating the year gone by, and setting goals for the year ahead. How many times do we make resolutions and set goals only to give up at our first setback? For you who read my blog and coach with me, you know that you must first align your thoughts (mind) with your new goals in order for your actions to stick. However, your mind must work in concert with your body and spirit to make permanent changes in the direction you want to go.

So let me ask you this. Where is your spirit living right now? Is it inside or outside of your body? One way to tell is through your eyes. Are your eyes vacant and lackluster, or are they bright with life? If your eyes are dull, the environment of your body has driven your spirit out where it is still attached to you, yet no longer flows through you. If your eyes are sparkling, your spirit resides within your body.

If you feel like your spirit is outside of you, what kind of environment are you creating for your spirit? Are you a "slum lord" of your body instead of being a caretaker of  it like it is a fine home? Do you feed your body junk or healthy food? Do you keep yourself physically fit? How about this... Do you beat yourself up, criticize and judge yourself, or are you kind and loving to yourself? When you berate yourself, you are berating your spirit. Why would it stay and take that?

So how do you get your spirit back? Invite it in like an old friend in your home. Be a host or hostess to your spirit that would make Miss Manners proud. Remember, your spirit is your connection to the Divine. It is the Divine flowing through you. Think about that when you choose what foods to eat, or whether or not you will take a walk and exercise today. If you do not take care of your body, where will your spirit live? And then include your mind. What are you telling yourself? Are you being critical, or are you allowing yourself to find your way in new circumstances? Are you complaining, or are you at peace with where you are, knowing you are moving in the right direction?

When your spirit lives inside of you, you are happier, your life seems easier, your creativity flows, and abundance comes your way. Make this the year of embracing your spirit!

Gifts - The Kind You Wrap and the Kind You Don't

By Julie Marie Rahm

This is Christmas week. I am sitting by our Christmas tree, laptop on my lap, delighting in the beauty of the lights and ornaments that adorn the tree. Under the tree lay gifts wrapped in seasonal paper and bows. I love Christmas! I do. I love everything about it. Most of all, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, I am filled with awe and reverence that God himself would choose to come to earth in human form to offer eternal life to all who accept it. Has there ever been a better gift?

We give gifts on Christmas as a symbol of the original Christmas gift of Jesus. However, sometimes we allow the tradition of gift giving to become a burden. We may feel the money is not there to buy gifts, or that we are too busy to think about what someone would enjoy receiving, or that we are too busy to shop. Gifts become one more thing on our lists to do and we just want to check them off.

Allow me to offer a fresh perspective on gifts. Most of the gifts we give and receive do not come in boxes and cannot be wrapped in paper. In each moment of our lives we are either giving or receiving gifts. In every situation we can ask ourselves two powerful questions: what gift did I bring to this moment? And, what gift did I receive in this moment?


Looking at life as a continuous stream of gifts enables us to find peace and joy in every moment, regardless of the situation, whether we perceive that situation to be good or bad. The reality of life is that there is no good or bad. There is just life happening and the meaning we attach to life as it unfolds. We can choose the meaning we attach to everything and we can choose meanings that serve us. This week, let us challenge ourselves to find the good in every aspect of our lives, from the most mundane, to the most difficult and most obvious aspects of our lives.

Each day, notice the gifts you received and the gifts you gave in as many moments throughout the day as possible. Enjoy the moments that feel good and challenge yourself to find gifts in moments that you perceive to be bad. Be aware of both the gift you gave and the gift you received in each situation. These gifts can be as simple as giving your gift of attention, or receiving the feeling of being understood. There is no right or wrong answer.

If we can be aware of our gifts for one day, we can do it for two days, and then three days. We can keep the spirit of Christmas in our lives all year long!